"How to *actually* jump/bump start a vehicle."

1.make sure the transmission is in park or clutch is depressed and in neutral 2.check for loose or damaged battery and connections
3.get jumper cables, make sure clamps are not touching
4.start donor vehicle
5.ensure battery voltage and polarity of donor and dead vehicle are the same
6.attach one end positive (red) clamp to donor battery positive
7.attach same end negative (black) clamp to donor chassis or battery negative
8.attach other end positive (red) clamp to dead vehicle battery positive
9.attach other end negative (black) clamp to dead vehicle battery negative
10. allow a few minutes for donor vehicle to charge dead vehicle
11. start dead vehicle
12. disconnect negative (black) clamp from dead vehicle chassis
13. disconnect positive (red) clamp from dead vehicle
14. disconnect positive and negative clamps from donor vehicle